BEST HISTORY LESSON CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A PARK Steele Indian School Park.
BEST DOG PARK, SOUTHEAST VALLEY Quail Run Park.
BEST DOG PARK, WEST VALLEY Foothills Park.
BEST DOG PARK, NORTH PHOENIX North side of East Paradise Lane, between 58th and 60th streets.
BEST POOL SHAPED LIKE A BONE Applewood Pet Resort.
BEST COMPETITIVE POOL Mona Plummer Aquatic Center at Arizona State University.
BEST RESORT POOL Hyatt Regency Scottsdale at Gainey Ranch.
BEST SPA FOR MEN Willow Stream at the Fairmont Scottsdale Princess.
BEST PLACE TO HIDE IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM Four Seasons Resort Scottsdale at Troon North.
BEST BOUTIQUE HOTEL Sanctuary Camelback Mountain.
BEST FUNKY WEEKEND GETAWAY Francisco Grande Resort.
BEST NOT-SO-CHEAP THRILL The Phoenician.
BEST CHEAP THRILL Bobby's Rock Trail, Echo Canyon Recreation Area.
BEST PLACE TO DRINK AND THEN DRIVE GameWorks.
BEST WAY TO SCORE A HO WITHOUT CATCHING VD Hookers.
BEST PLACE TO FIND COLLEGE KIDS PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK Wal-Mart Supercenter Store #2768.
BEST OFF-TRACK BETTING Gallagher's Food & Fun.
BEST TEXAS HOLD 'EM Casino Arizona's Talking Stick Poker Room.
BEST PLACE TO PLAY POKER WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SHIRT Horse & Hound.
Certainly worth choking down some rubber chicken, and since the luncheon's scheduled for November 8 at the Arizona Biltmore, the food might not be so bad. We're not so sure we want her baggage, but we hear there were bags by Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Ferragamo. Some are donated by department stores, but others come from celebrities: Last year's auction featured a vintage Hermes bag given by Sofia Coppola, and even Oprah made a donation. The Old Bags Luncheon, sponsored by Homeward Bound, a Valley organization that provides transitional housing for the homeless and victims of domestic violence, features a silent auction of vintage and designer purses. We gave at the office, sweetie - now can we go to the mall and shop? Here's exciting news from the society scene: Now there's a charity luncheon where you can actually pick up a fabulous handbag (one that might even have some history) and give to a very good cause at the same time. We've gotta tell you, if we have to go to one more charity luncheon, we're going to puke up our chicken plate. Drop in when Tits on a Stick (she insists they're real and she really answers to that name) is working. And Groggy's has it going on: The kitchen makes a mean sandwich, and the digital jukebox plays virtually any song ever recorded. The bartenders know their business even when it's busy, you'll never wait longer than a minute for a refill. Skill levels vary from rank amateur to pretty damn good, but this isn't a place for hustlers just a kick-back-and-relax neighborhood tav where the eight-ball rules. Groggy's is just such a rough-around-the-edges spot, with six tables and plenty of room between them. Attractive members of the opposite sex are a bonus, but not required - you're here to shoot pool, not watch players bend over to make shots. You want a place where people treat each other with respect, but fighting words are occasionally exchanged. The kind of place where no one tells you to take your feet off the neighboring barstool where the drinks are strong, a game costs 50 cents, the sticks are straight, and chalk is plentiful. A pool hall, as opposed to a billiards parlor, should be comfortable but with an edge.